This is the only time a bare pregnant belly is acceptable:
From awkwardfamillyphotos.com
Now all I have to do is get Huz to take this picture with me someday. I’ll tell him if he does he can finally get a basketball hoop installed.
I’m totally cool update
Last night was our first rehearsal with the 6 year olds. It was like they have sensors in their little 6 year old brains (or they just like anyone who is going to play a princess) but the little girls kept saying “you’re so beautiful”. And even though I knew it was silly, I ate it up and felt awesome.
I kind of wish I worked with kindergarten/first grade age kids all the time. They’re hilarious! The little boys kept punching each other (mostly in the crotch) and laughing really hard. The girls were trying to give themselves hickies on their legs and talking about their shoes. One little girl tied her sandals together and the knot was so tight that we couldn’t get it undone and we had to let her go barefoot for the rest of rehearsal. And another little girls favorite game was tattling which went on the whole time.
Everyone spent time discussing their favorite princess (most said all of them). Then one of the little boys told me Cinderella is supposed to have blonde hair and the prince should have dark hair (with his little lisp where he pronounces hair “haywe”. It was clear he had been pondering this the whole time and was baffled.
And then there was NeEEeeve..
I have no idea how to spell her name, but I’m guessing there are at least 7 e’s in it. Where to start with Neeeeeeve… She for sure has some kind of attention disorder and my friend who owns the theater said: “we ask about that when they sign up so we can be aware of it, but it seems like a lot of parents just ignore that question.” (My descriptions of N are not mean. They’re just to tell about how funny the whole night was.)
Neeeeve is a cute little blond hair blue eyed kid, but she is all over the place. You can be sitting right next to her having a conversation and she will be looking all over the room and doesn’t seem like she can focus on you. I say she has crazy eyes, but that might be offensive.
Good Ol Marty Feldman – king of the crazy eyes
For the beginning part of the rehearsal the kids were lined up against the wall and we went through when they come on and off stage. This is about how it went.
A (theater owner) – OK kids backs against the wall
20 seconds later A – Neeeeeve, back against the wall
20 seconds later A – Neeeeeve, stop biting Sam
20 seconds later A – Neeeeeve, back against the wall
20 seconds later A – Neeeeeve, stop making chicken noises
20 seconds later A – Neeeeeve, back against the wall
20 seconds later A – Neeeeeve, put your skirt down
20 seconds later A – Neeeeeve, back against the wall
For about 45 mins until you feel like you might go nuts. And add to that her maniacal laughter which is constant.
Eventually she earned a time out so A asked me to sit in the lobby with her for her timeout. She is very social so she started asking me where I live and described her house as: “Do you know Media? Do you know Malvern? (they are not that close to each other) We are one past there. You go down that road. Make a straight, then a right and then the left is our house. Where do you live?” (the whole time she is looking about 4 inches above the top of my head at nothing in particular).
Me “Oh I’m right down the street.”
N “That’s how you got here so fast!!!!!”
Confusing since she has no idea how long it took me to get there. She was quickly becoming my favorite because of her weirdness and nervous energy.
N “I got to St Thomas. Do you know it? Where does your little boy go to school?”
Me “I actually don’t have any kids yet.”
N (while staring 2 inches to the right and reaching out clawing hands towards me in a deep scratchy voice) “DO YOU HAVE A BABY IN YOUR BELLY?!”
Me “No. Not yet, but maybe someday.”
Ne “My teacher does. It’s a boy named Tyler. Blue for Boy. But it’s a girl named Paige. Her middle name will be Princess.”
Me (still confused and speechless and trying not to laugh too hard)
When timeout was over we went back to the stage. My duty was to open and shut the curtain as each group went in. It was around this point that NEEEeeeeve decided we were best friends. So, she wrapped herself around my leg. This is the same child who tends to fidget with her crotch alot and still smelled like pee from her last bathroom break. But, while she was wrapped around my leg she was being very quiet and not disturbing rehearsal so I let it go.
After a minute or so she started softly petting my calf and giggling. Like it was a kitten. Then after another few minutes she started nuzzling her face on my calf. Then after another few minutes she started repeatedly kissing my calf while nuzzling it. At this point the other kids are totally confused.
Me “NEEEEeeeve, don’t do that it’s gross”
N “WHY are KISSES gross?!”
Me “Well there might be germs on my leg.”
N (outburst of maniacal laughter)
After a night of these exchanges the parents showed up and she ran out of there. I’m guessing she spent the rest of the night running in circles while looking at the ceiling and making cat noises.
Best part is that she is one of the only kids who knows her lines and knows when to say them. She may be hanging upside down or staring at the wall above my head or thinking about serial killing, but she actually has them memorized.
This is going to be a fun show. I’m sure many stories will follow over the next few weeks.
I’m totally cool
My friends own a children’s theater where they teach classes, vocal lessons and they put on short plays for kids in the area. For their final show (Cinderella) they are incorporating some of the young students into the play. My friend Kevin and I are going to be the adults in the show. I will be playing Cinderella and he will be the Prince/Fairy Godmother. (Nothing makes kids laugh harder than men pretending to be ladies. Oh and people getting hit.)
Last night and tonight are the first rehearsals with the kids. So I have been running home after work to go to the theater. And I have realized something about myself. In real life I don’t generally care what I look like or what people think of me (much to my Huz’s chagrin). But, yesterday and today I made sure my hair was cute and put on makeup because I was worried a group of children wouldn’t think I was cool…
Why? (you ask)
I have no idea.
In reality these kids are so excited and look up to us as “big adults” who know what we’re doing. And they want to make us laugh and impress us with their skillz. Especially the little girls who look up at you with huge excited eyes like you are a celebrity. And I find myself worrying that a group of 6 and 7 year olds will not think I’m awesome enough to play Cinderella. It keeps making me laugh. But, at the same time I will put on mascara every week and pretend it’s because I want to look nice at work.
apparantly this is what I think I look like with and without mascara
Sometimes it’s good to take myself down a peg or two.
What a 2×4 and a trash bag can accomplish
We are lucky enough that we have great neighbors. They are both retired and so they keep an eye on our house when we’re at work all the time. Last week I got a call from Mrs Neighbor saying “I don’t want you to worry, but your attic fan sounds like it’s making a weird noise. So, just check on it when you get home.”
That was all the excuse I needed to skip the gym and go home right after work. Plus my overactive imagination assumed the sound was a broken wire that was sparking and would burn my house down if i didn’t see to it before 6pm.
When I got home I didn’t hear anything strange so I pulled down the ladder and climbed up. Turns out there was a bird up there and I soon as I got to the top of the ladder it started squawking and flying around. Of course my first reaction was to scream, try not to fall while running down the ladder and shut the bird in.
This is approximately what it looked like:
it MAY have been a little bit smaller…
I had to run a few errands so I texted Huz and said: “There’s a bird in the attic. See ya when you get home!”
When I got back from grocery shopping Huz was holding a 2×4 and a trash bag. He said “I googled how to get a bird out of the attic. It said open the window and make banging noises so it freaks out and flies away.
As far as we know the attic window is nailed shut, but we went up to investigate anyway. When we got up the ladder it was silent and no bird to be seen. We were trying to figure out where it could be hiding when I looked up into the attic fan and there is what looks like the remains of a bird completely smashed into the corner of the caging.
Since I am calm and rational I started shrieking because it looked disgusting. Huz then takes the 2×4 and starts trying to pry what’s left of the bird out of the fan. He keeps making commentary about how nasty it is and I keep asking if it’s juicy in between dry heaving while trying to hold a Trader Joe’s paper bag open to catch the bird.
After a few minutes of strategic prying we got the bird in the bag and Huz ran it to the trash. I can now check bird in the attic off of my home ownership experiences. Next step is to put wire mesh over the large gaps between the eaves and the soffits or whatever you call them to keep future birds out.
On a more positive note I did some pot gardening this weekend! No it’s not what you think. I mean gardening in pots. I planted mint and lemon balm in a big barrel and then rosemary, basil and cilantro in smaller pots. And last buy not least I planted a single heirloom tomato plant in another barrel. It is my first adventure in tomatos so we’ll see how it goes. I’m also thinking about buying one of those topsy turvy planters since I hear they’re easy and mess free.
So, this summer I will be updating on my plant growth! Sun tea, rosemary oil and pesto here I come!
The In Between
I know I’m still a kid because I wanted to splash in all the puddles in the parking lot and run around in the rain.
I know I’m an adult because I didn’t want to be stuck in wet clothes all day. Especially wet shoes.
Even though the adult won out this morning I think the kid wins overall because at the end of the day when I get home I can (and will) dance in the rain with the knowledge I have dry sweatpants inside to change into.
This weekend I walked my niece around the backyard singing to her until she fell asleep on my shoulder. It was one of the best feelings in the world and I just kept holding her as long as my arms could handle it. But, the kid in me wins overall because it also felt great to hand her over, go home and lay on my couch reading a book.
I am in full acceptance that I will always be an inner child. And while I am proud of that fact it also gets in the way. Like how every big decision feels overwhelming and my coping mechanism is to hide. Big house projects are so fun to begin and accomplish, but when I think about how big the list of unfinished projects is I go into brain hibernation and watch a disney movie.
So, in an effort to add some order to my inner child I am going to dedicate this month to the finishing of projects. I’ve tried to do this many times before and failed. But, this time I am going to do two things that I know for a fact help me stay motivated:
Lists and Sticky Notes
My Huz always finds this idea ludicrous because as a mature motivated man he finds it very easy to stay on schedule. I on the other hand can’t keep a schedule for a more than a few days (ie. my lack of going to the gym every day). I’ve learned that if I have a written schedule to tell me what to do I will actually stick to it. And while it does seem like something a child needs it is one of the only things that will keep me on track.
1. Schedule of chores. Some people do well picking a day like Saturday to do all of these things. I am bad at that so if I only have to do 30 mins of chores a day when I get home I am much more likely to finish:
Monday – Dust downstairs
Tuesday – Kitchen
Wednesday – Dust upstairs
Thursday – Sweep/Vacuum
Friday – Bible Study night
Saturday – Bathroom
Sunday – Chill
2. Put post its around the house to remind me of the things that NEED to be finished. That way I will be less likely to ignore the work. This weekend I finally finished shortening the blinds in the upstairs. The next post its are:
Lengthen and hem the dining room curtains
Hang the roman shades (yes the ones that have been done for 3 months)
Fix Sammy’s blanket (one of the squares unraveled)
Buy/hang flower baskets for porch
Plant herbs
3. Longer term projects to go on the fridge by the chore schedule:
Make/hang cornices to go over the roman shades
Make/hang bedroom curtains
Buy/hang bathroom curtains
Stain the Gazebo
Strip/bleach/stain railing
Finish frames/Decorate hallway
Buy/paint porches
I am going to start this new method with a big ball of optimism. I’ll let you know how long it lasts 😉
Gravy Friday!!!!
In case I haven’t mentioned it 70 times I am half Italian. My mom is 100% South Philly Italian growing up on Hutchinson St, attending St Maria Goretti High School and living 8 people to a 3 bedroom/1 bathroom row home. Just to emphasize the point more the family are all Franchettis and Milaneses. Please repeat out loud with a strong South Philly Italian accent.
And so gravy (not sauce) cooking is a big deal in the family. A few years ago when I was moving out on my own I told my mom I would like to observe and take notes on the gravy making process. This past week I was thinking about how I haven’t made it in a long time and since I have off on Monday I should cook gravy all day. I found my notes which are written on various post-its and they read exactly as follows which is word for word how my mother explained it:
Meatballs:
1 lb meatloaf mix + 1 lb beef
2 eggs per lb of meat
put in cheese (looks like almost .5 lb of parm/rom)
put alot of salt
little pepper
parsley flakes – some
garlic powder-pour it in
plain bread crumbs-add til not too moist
*want to be rubbery and not stick to hands
As a novice chef who NEEDS to follow a recipe these measurements terrify me
Meatballs/Sausage:
preheat to 350
bake 20-25 mins til they look cooked
how does the inside of a meatball look cooked on the outside?
Gravy:
little oil in the bottom of a gigantic pot on low
minced garlic-one chunk until fried
2 – 1lb cans of tomato puree (must be tutta rosa, the green label)
2 – 6oz cans tomato paste
1 can of water per each can of puree/paste
garlic powder-pour it in
baking soda-pinch or more to taste
basil (no measure)
bring to a boil, add another .5 lb of parm
simmer 20-25 mins
At this point the meat is done cooking so add all of the meat to the pot and simmer for 6 or more hours on very low with a cracked lid
Stir every 30 mins or so
This will yield a few gallons of gravy to be portioned and frozen. As I quickly learned mom’s freezer portions are for a family of 5, not a couple.
Growing up with this gravy it is the best thing in the ENTIRE world!!!!!!! There is nothing better than some crusty bread, covered in butter, dipped in some gravy straight from the pot. And although the directions are very, very vague I have managed to make it successfully quite a few times. Last time I experimented with adding some red wine, but it seemed like I was messing with history.
Whenever I talk about making gravy people ask about fresh tomatoes and other vegi purees or chunks of full tomatoes I feel I need to go into the full tirade of joy and specificity of South Philly homemade gravy. Then it usually isn’t worth it cause I get all worked up and hyperventilate and pass out. The only way to wake me up from this state is to open a jar of minced garlic and wave it under my nose. If this does not work touch a dab of gravy onto my upper lip. If you dare to use jarred marinara I will not wake up until you leave the premises.
Hubz once tried to tell me he didn’t see the big deal? I mean he was obsessed with the meatballs and ate about 12, but what’s with the gravy excitement? After picking myself up off of the floor again I knew I had married someone with an unsophisticated palette. So, I will just continue to cook massive amounts of homemade gravy until he sees the error in his judgment.
quote of the weekend…month…year
This weekend I commented to Huz that I have a little pea-head.
His response: Your big sunglasses emphasize your pea-ness.
I laughed like a middle schooler.
Variations on a Theme
It is now March. The month of my birth and I am going to be 28. I am definitely not one for caring about my age because I don’t think it will ever affect my personality. But, it does feel weird that we are just 2 years from 30. Not because I care about turning 30, but because we decided that at 30 we would begin to think about discussing maybe having kids.
I started to write a whole post about my pros and cons on child bearing, but other than wanting to talk about the prospective future hobbit child I may force out of my uterus it seems overwhelming to talk about. So, I’ll save it for my 29th birthday month.
Instead let’s talk about home ownership….again. After the bursting pipe incident we decided maybe we should get a few estimates on getting a full bathroom installed in the back room. We knew it would be a big project, but we figured we’d get a few estimates and then figure out what we needed to pay for and what we could take on ourselves. The first estimate came in at over
$12,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We were thinking it would hopefully be around $8 and then we could break that down into the necessities (like new plumbing) and what we could do with helpful friends (like drywall, tiling, etc). I guess I am just totally naive when it comes to the cost of things in this world. But, I almost had a heart attack.
The bathroom is by no means a necessity and before we destroyed it earlier this winter we figured it would be a more distant future project. But, now that it is a room of crap we thought it would be nice to have it fixed up with a bathroom before the summer and pool time. So, in our optimism we figure let’s get a few more estimates. Then we will see what we get as far as tax refund and bonuses this year.
We filled out our taxes with high hopes since everyone talks about how great it is to have a house when you’re doing taxes. We thought “yay government money!” Well for some unknown reason my work changed my withdrawal amount and they withdrew $3k less in taxes this year. Then it turns out that we owed $3 less in taxes so we broke even (well we owe $100). I know I know I know: this is how taxes should be. You should get to the end of the year and break even. But, I am a moron and never look at my paycheck and since I didn’t notice the slightly extra money we were getting all year I ignorantly thought we would be getting a refund. And I know a refund is silly, but it feels a lot less painful to spend a refund than it does to spend your savings. That money is already all cozied up in the savings account making friends and increasing in population. So, that was one funding source gone this year.
Then as anyone who works with me knows our company did terribly this year so bonuses are super low. I am totally not complaining on this account. I mean a bonus is a bonus so anything is better than zero. But, the huz is disappointed because in another ill advised budgeting plan he was already imagining all the bathroom we could do with that money after putting a good amount into the principal of our house. Well, it looks like principal will be paid and then a small small amount will be left to buy something small for the bathroom.
This isn’t a make or break situation. Like I said the bathroom is not a need, it is a luxury and if we need to put off that project til next year or the year after that then we do. Or we start learning how to build stuff. If that is the case there will definitely be tons of posts in the future about our building adventures. If we don’t kill each other we will hopefully learn some new skillz. We can totally do it!
Also, on the home improvement front. The previous home owners decided it would be a brilliant idea to paint the top of the stair railing navy blue. Our living room is gold and burgandy. The navy has got to go. So, our next project is entitled
Learning How to Strip
I like the sounds of it and I do not feel the need to specify that I mean stripping wood. Which now that I have typed it looks just as inappropriate. I am actually really excited about this project because if I get good at it (which of course I will) then I can learn how to refinish furniture. So many exciting new developments in life!
Also also, the theater I have done my last few productions at has asked me to be on their board of governors. I have until March 19th to write a biography which is hilariously vague and makes me want to write something ridiculous. It seems like a cool opportunity to be more involved and learn how it works behind the scenes. And I’ll get to see every show since I’ll have to house manage performances. So that is another new development that I will be expounding on. Should be fun since it is 2 people in their 20s trying to modernize and then a bunch of old heads who have been there forever.
This whole post is mostly to get my head on straight since I have a million things going on in it. I bought a planner this year and it is helping a ton, but my head is still a big blur of to do lists. Like training for Broad Street 10 mile run the first weekend in May. See, another development I forgot.
Plus, my sis is getting married in August so plenty of bridesmaid activities and the possibility that I may audition for Hairspray this summer.
It’s official. My year is already booked up.
Grace
My Grandmom passed away a week and a half ago. I’ve been wanting to write about her, but I’m not the best at sorting and explaining my thoughts when it comes to serious things. Funny I’ve got down, but usually I avoid all heavy emotion. Maybe it’s because I rarely feel emotions other than joy or mild annoyance. Grief and anger and sadness are generally such a foreign part of my personality. Or maybe it’s because all of those emotions are uncomfortable for me. Regardless this is my attempt to convey my thoughts.
My Grandpop on my dad’s side passed away when I was only 7 or 8. I don’t remember much other than that he was fun, but a bit distant. As I grew older I heard more about how he was an alcoholic and a pretty cold father. My dad is amazing and incredibly loving, but one of the reasons he is that way is because he wanted to be everything for us that my Grandpop never was for him. I also learned as I got older that Grandpop was controlling of Grandmom.
When Grandpop passed away Grandmom was able to blossom and be the Mom/Grandmom/GGmom she always wanted to be. Most of my cousins are in their late 30s so my siblings and I are on the young side of the family. There are currently about 10 great grandkids (I say about since there is some weirdness with stepkids and my cousins divorces. Not because there are weird half children running around ;).
When Grandmom was on her own she was at everything. She never missed a show, recital, concert or sports event. She came to every grandparents’ day. And she even braved my mom’s crazy Italian side and came to those family events as well. She would just sit in the corner and smile enjoying the chaos.
My mom’s side of the family is full of strong female figures and I always assumed my strength, stubbornness and strong will came from them. I am sure it is a mixed bag, but as I grew older I saw how Grandmom was the embodiment of quiet strength and stubbornness to a fault.
As a true depression baby she saved EVERYTHING. I appreciate this in the fact that we have hundreds of old pictures of her family even back to when she was a baby. Boxes of them, which also makes me realize how much of my looks come from my dad’s side. It is incredible and when I go home tonight I am going to add some of them to this post. Pictures of her on the beach as a teenager, a picture of my Grandpop’s proposal and many others. Where this becomes a bit much is how she would save every tiny piece of paper, half used jelly packets and various other ridiculous things.
I also grew to realize how strong she was in her faith. She chaired boards on her church, was part of various Christian women’s groups and prayer groups with my mom. As my mom said “if you were on her prayer list you stayed there everyday until she got an answer. ”
When I was in high school Grandmom was diagnosed with stomach cancer. She spent a lot of time in the hospital, lost all her hair and most of her weight, but she kicked its ass and never had a recurrence. I remember visiting her and getting to witness her stubbornness and drive. If you tried to get her to do anything she didn’t want to do you would get the look. She’d bend her head down and look out of the tops of her eyes while giving you a little side smirk. Like “I’d just like to see you try that.” I guess because of all of this the past month has seemed a little surreal.
A month or so ago Grandmom fell and was in a lot of pain. On top of that she wasn’t feeling well, but as usual was too stubborn to tell anyone about it. Everyone started to notice when she was rapidly losing weight and not eating much. Aunt Carol basically took her into her home for a while to keep an eye on her. She was admitted into the hospital a few times for malnutrition and dehydration. They said she was suffering from “heartbreak”. They said often elderly people who are lonely will suffer heart problems. The entire family rallied around her and the doctors said her heart problems were all gone, but that she had a long road to recover her strength. Most importantly that meant eating, drinking and exercising.
The family installed a chair lift at her house and bathroom adjustments so she could get in there with her walker til she recovered her strength. Then we all got together and set a calendar so that a family member would be there for every meal and overnight. Grandmom really wanted to be at home and her goal was to be able to drive her car again. We all knew that was ridiculous, but encouraged her so that she would work for her goal. We also began discussing that if she stayed as frail as she was we may need to look into assisted living.
February has been an incredible blessing. Huz and I said every Sunday we would pick her up at church, take her home and eat lunch with her. And then a few week nights I volunteered for dinners. My goal was to ask Grandmom about her life since I began to realize that this was such a great opportunity to learn more about the woman she was. Admittedly I was too selfish and immature to do this earlier in my life. Grandmom must have had the same idea because without even asking she started telling us stories about how her and my Grandpop met because she signed up to correspond with a soldier during WWI and ended up getting his name. She said his letters were so funny and cute that when he came home for leave they met for the first time. On another one of his leaves they got engaged.
I could go on and on about her amazing life and probably will in a later post, but I want to focus on the rest of February. That first week we were all realizing that Grandmom wasn’t really eating much, but if you were patient she would eat a sufficient amount. She mainly wanted soup, but if it was something she wasn’t familiar with she would give you the look and wonder what would possibly make you think she would eat that. Then we would make her get up with her walker, do some laps around the bottom floor, do some squats and some arm exercises. It was a struggle, but she was fighting for it. Unfortunately no matter what she ate it was going right through her and she was getting no nutrition.
Into the second week she was getting too weak to stand up on her own even with the help of her walker. She was losing her memory and would repeat herself often, but even with that she would engage with you and make you feel special. She has a Phillies daily calendar with trivia. She would give me a stack of them and say, “See if Huz can get these ones because they are very tough. I couldn’t even get them.” Just her little way to let him know she was thinking of him.
Thursday of that week I was over for dinner and Grandmom couldn’t get out of the chair without my help. I brought a chicken soup, but she said she couldn’t chew it and could I just heat her up some broth. Then she insisted it had to be in her soup mug because that’s how she wanted it.
The next day when she woke up she needed my dad and uncle to go over to carry her out of bed to take her to the doctors. Saturday when my parents went over in the morning they called all of us to say they didn’t know if she would make it through the day. My brother in Virginia drove his whole family up and it turned into a huge party. Grandmom sat in her recliner a bit out of it, but rallying for the company. And she was surrounded by every kid, grandkid, great grandkid, cousin and my 93 year old great Aunt Num who needs her own entry. She is so spry. And when my nephew came in he yelled “GGMOM!!” and ran over to hug her. We weren’t there yet and when my mom told me that, it was the first time I broke down.
That night hospice brought a hospital bed into the living room so she could be comfortable. My mom asked if she wanted the oxygen mask to help her breathe and my mom got the look. My mom and aunt said well when you fall asleep we’ll just put it on anyway which got a good eye roll. We sat next to her bed while she slept looking through old picture books. Sunday morning Aunt Carol was there and Grandmom said she was having trouble breathing. Aunt Carol said “It’s ok mom. Just rest.” Grandmom took one more breath and passed away. That day the entire family gathered again and spent time together around her. She did not want a viewing so it was our small family viewing. Thank God for my dad’s family which is the definition of healing with humor.
Around 1 the undertaker came to take the body. We went back to my parents and got to spend more family time.
This past Saturday was her memorial service. My dad, mom, cousin and uncle spoke. I have never seen my family so sad. Of course we were laughing through the tears, but you could just see how much she was loved. My dad was trying to be strong, but just seemed so broken. I sat with my siblings and cousins and we all wept it out. On a side note the choir consisted of 5 older members of questionable musical ability. I know I shouldn’t make fun since there were there to love and honor Grandmom, but they were so bad that it sent my sisters and I into hysterics. After all that crying I couldn’t handle it it was so funny.
Then whether healthy or not we went to my cousins and had some wine around 1. Then we continued to have more wine. And whiskey and various other things. The day was filled with more laughter and love.
When my Pop-pop passed away it was devastating, but he deteriorated slowly and we knew it was coming. Not that that helps much, but I guess it does change it a little. In Grandmom’s case it was just so fast. And while I am comforted by the time we got to spend with her it has hit me harder than I thought I could be hit. I know grief passes, but I’m just in such a cloud of sadness.
I know she’s better off. I know I will see her again. It just seems like she gave up and that is not like her. I just miss her. It’s that running thought that she won’t get to meet my kids and she won’t be at my next play. It’s probably compounded by the fact that I only have one living grandparent left. And I can see that whole generation getting to the end. It doesn’t seem right not to have them here. It doesn’t seem right not to have her here. And in all this I know how silly I am for feeling this way because it’s the way life has always been. And it’s silly because she got to live such a full beautiful life. But that doesn’t stop the sadness.
Not very eloquent, but just my jumble of thoughts. I have a million more, but it would probably get odious and a have a meeting in 15 mins that I need to calm myself for. I will definitely be adding pictures of my “Amazing Grace”. I know it will just take time. That God never gives us more than we can handle. It just stinks no matter how you coat it.
Hooray for things!
Ever since becoming a homeowner I have fully embraced the Saturdays painting and going to Lowes like it is as exciting as going out partying. While I haven’t neglected all fun and partying I have grown to love the home fixer upper deep inside of me.
This Monday we decided t o take the day off, borrow the parents’ minivan and go outlet shopping in Lancaster. #1 priority being the Pottery Barn outlet. Now that we have been there I am officially obsessed. Despite my hatred of all things expensive and brand name I can’t help but love the quality of Pottery Barn. I would own everything wooden and rustic they have to offer if I could afford it. So, the outlet is my new best friend. Some of their stuff is still pretty pricey (I will never spend $200 on a big basket) but their furniture was surprisingly affordable, boosted by the fact that if you put your name on some shopper card thing they will give you 10% off your most expensive purchase. EVERY TIME YOU GO IN!!! That caps lock is in no way an exaggeration of my excitement.
We walked out with a beautiful coffee table for $280 which to me is still a lot of money since I prefer to buy everything on Craigslist or at IKEA, but the quality is just a million steps above. This is our new baby:
If you ever put a drink on it without a coaster I will stab you. No joke.
Those are my V-day flowers. And my 2nd hand couches, IKEA pillows and Craigslist end table. Cause I’m like that. You can kind of also see my bright yellow walls, but I’ll show more of that in the next picture. Plus the best part is we already owned those baskets and they fit perfectly! We were debating between this table and one with bigger drawers. The other one was more expensive, so my frugality won out.
I love the little drawers!
You can see the walls better in this one, but Huz would be embarrassed that my drapery DIY books are hidden underneath. But, those books are the key to the maroon and gold striped roman shades I am making to replace those terrible white shades. That post is coming soon!
Our other new discovery is the store Kirkland’s. It is like Home Goods, but even cheaper! They just put one in a mile from our house (on the DE side so no tax) and we spent a good hour in there last week. We found some jugs for the mantel (as every good farmhouse needs) and this sweet picture of a tree. We needed some big artwork since we have nothing on our walls and I fell in love with this picture. And bonus, it had some scratches on it so we got another 20% off.
I like this photo, but it makes our walls look way too light. They’re much more mustardy than that.
So, in the near future (hopefully Monday) the shades will be up and I will have full pictures of the living room
In addition we finished painting all of the trim on the bottom floor and got our new windows put in! While at the PB outlet we saw a buffet that we fell in love with for the dining room, but someone had already bought it. So we put ourselves on a waiting list to get a call when they get more in. If that doesn’t happen anytime soon at least we know there were many other beautiful options there, plus my obsessive craigslist search. AND we’re picking up a sweet arm chair for the bedroom from a craigslist person this weekend. House obsession!
p.s. I have some sad news. My mom just called me this minute to tell me that the minivan just got totaled. Not only is this sad because of the high school memories attached to it, but also because it was our primary furniture transportation vehicle. For my parents it works out since they were planning to buy a new car soon anyway. In addition the girl who hit them ran right through a stop sign and slammed into the car, only has her permit which was not in the car and was driving her friend’s car without a chaperon over the legal age. Why have I my entire life been spelling chaperon with an e on the end? I swear it looks wrong.
p.p.s. You can tell when I have had coffee before writing an entry. More house updates to come!!!
bighairnerd 